Post 300223 by MamaBee223 deleted for the following reason: Hey there, I'm sorry you're going through this, but this isn't really a question, and asking weekly questions for general support isn't what AskMe's for. This is really something you need ongoing individual contact for, with a therapist or other person who can really support you. If you're needing encouragement today, re-read some of the answers you've gotten on previous threads. -- LobsterMitten